“Be real.” “Speak your truth.” “Don’t hold back.”
These are the mantras of our age. From reality shows to TikTok confessionals to workplace “radical candor,” we are catechized into believing that the rawer our emotions, the truer our selves.
Authenticity, in this cultural script, means unfiltered expression.
- Anger must be vented.
- Sadness must be broadcast.
- Desire must be pursued.
To restrain emotion is seen as repression. To question emotion is seen as betrayal of the self.
The Hidden Cost
This script sounds liberating, but its fruit is bitter:
- Relationships fracture — honesty without love corrodes trust.
- Communities polarize — the loudest emotions dominate.
- Selves destabilize — if I am what I feel, then I change with every mood.
The irony is that a culture obsessed with “being real” ends up producing some of the most fragile selves in history.
The Better Way
Scripture affirms honesty — but pairs it with wisdom and love.
“A fool gives full vent to his spirit, but a wise man quietly holds it back.” (Proverbs 29:11)
Jesus Himself felt deeply, yet His emotions were never weapons. His honesty did not fracture relationships; it revealed truth.
Authenticity in Christ is not about venting; it is about alignment. My truest self is not my strongest emotion — it is my life hidden with Christ (Colossians 3:3).
Practice
The next time you want to “be real,” pause:
- Name the emotion (anger, sadness, fear, joy).
- Ask the Spirit: “How do I express this truthfully and lovingly?”
- Choose a fruit: patience, gentleness, peace — and act from there.
This is authenticity too. In fact, it’s deeper: it’s realness that heals instead of harms.